3:50 am, and October morning, I clearly remember the phone call, It was my friend screaming at me, saying over and over it was my fault calling me an asshole. He repeatedly hung up on me. 6:05 am, my ex-fiancees brother calls me to tell me Alex is alive. This is a memory I'll never be able to shake. (If anyone wants to know everything that happened between 3:50 and 6:05, I will post a description, just comment below)
The next few days following that expperience were as equally awful. You think people would be sensitive to me to me after what I had just delt with but no, everyone blamed me. They came up with the most outlandish ways to pin blame on me, I was so vulnorable and weak, and I had to deal with this objective ridicule. None of the story made sense to me because, I had seen Alex face to face, less then 2 hours before the first screaming phone call. And everything had been fine, we had come to a common ground. Still in love and wanting to be together just understanding now wasn't our time. We said our last see you later, and I watched him walk away with the pre-engagment ring still on my finger along with one he had given me for valentines day, and him still wearing my real engagment ring on his chain.
The next weeks following on after the attemp were ridiculous. He had put out mix tapes dissing me and threatening me, he told me I killed him and the Alex I knew was dead. It all lead to seeing my mother scared to death and hysterical, and a call to the cops, and a restraining order.
....but I do not shed one tear.
No comments:
Post a Comment